sheckyMerman
About
Old enough to know better and young enough to enjoy it. A 3-time sire & 2-time husband. Hmm... that didn't sound so good. I hail from more home towns than we have space for; I rain from one or two, and snow from others. I hope you enjoy every jot and tiddle. My goal is to be a Renaissance Man, but I prefer air conditioning and pasteurization, so I'll stay here in the 21st century for now. Just take those old records off the shelf and replace them with more music you never heard before.
Yahoo Messenger: jh_gifford
AIM: sheckyVEG
The writings of sheckyMerman
Metal
Mission accomplished
that was the call
Yanstebangus: Poll Position, Part 4: Novelty
October 19, 2008 - 8:12 am
Tags: satire, shecky, yanstebangus
1 Comment
To long-time fans, new readers, and disclaimer geeks, one and all, welcome. You may ask “why” after reading this gratuitous post. Let’s suffice to say it’s because someone’s got to bring the quality of writing down around here, and I have a reputation to uphold. Granted, it’s not nearly going as [...]
Yanstebangus: Poll Position, Part 3 (Generation Why)
October 6, 2008 - 10:00 am
Tags: satire, shecky, yanstebangus
3 Comments
I looked up, and, to my shock and dismay, my ex-wife was there. “Geez,” I said, “first, no pudding at lunch and now this. What’s the matter, overdrawn at the blood bank?”
And Now, A Word From Mal-Wart Stupor-Centers
October 6, 2008 - 9:52 am
Tags: merchandizing, satire, shecky
No Comments
CONSUME!
Yanstebangus: Poll Position, Part 2 (Subterfuge In D Minor)
September 20, 2008 - 7:14 am
Tags: politics, satire, shecky, yanstebangus
3 Comments
Obsidian. That must have been what the walls were covered with in the stairwell. The steps themselves were black granite, filled with light and dark shades of gray pebbles. They were cut square and polished to a mirror finish. The walls, also, were mirror-polished, showing warped, obscure reflections in their inky blackness.
The stairwell was lit [...]
Isn’t it Strange…?
August 17, 2008 - 10:56 am
Tags: consternation, hallucinatory, philosophy, rumination, silliness
No Comments
Timothy Leary’s dead.
Long live awareness.
Just Because
or, Sum Up Summertime, Poetically Licensed Sing-Song Meter Edit
Just because it’s summer, there’s not always a last rose
Baseballs fly into bats, and bats fill up on mosquitoes
Camping corpses marinate in DEET, but still they are a-slappin’
Pedro’s fire works, as does yours, and explosions are happ’nin’
Mother nature’s boiling vengeance, roiling from the Verde Cape
Canes hurry west, [...]
Talk To Jesus
July 4, 2008 - 5:55 am
Tags: Jesus, The Way, tolerance
2 Comments
Pardon my blasphemy.– JG
Hi.
No, you’re not disturbing me at all. I always have time for you. In fact, I’m glad to hear from you… it seems to be kind of rare these days. I know you’re busy. I keep pretty busy myself, as you might guess. I’m happy whenever you [...]
Yanstebangus: Poll Position Pt. 1
February 28, 2008 - 9:41 pm
Tags: Mustly, nance, satire, shecky, yanstebangus
5 Comments
“OK, Murray, here’s the gag. Reality show, OK? We get this nut job to put together four of the world’s favorite pop musicians, under the pretense he’s putting together a super-group. Then, when everything looks like it’s going great, POW! ZOK!”
The sudden burst of ebullience and wild gesticulation made the bespectacled Murray [...]
Woof, Woof– Doggerel!
February 22, 2008 - 10:56 pm
Tags: shecky
No Comments
Mr. Ghosh had a single galosh;
he wore it right up the street.
He said, “My only trouble will be if a puddle
covers both of my feet.”
Gruesome:
I forgot a lot of facts, but I still knew some.
I used to be short, but then I gruesome.
A hapless old witch named Martha McPitch
nearly struck out with her coven.
She baked [...]
A Wordchasm Public Service Announcement
February 22, 2008 - 10:18 pm
Tags: crossing guard, parody, PSA, satire
No Comments
Do you have what it takes to be a crossing guard?
Stopping traffic… guiding pedestrians… facing down screaming death machines, hurtling their way toward your extended, white-gloved hands, when all that stands between the huddled, shuffling masses of kiddies and certain doom is you… and your whistle.
We salute these Everyday Heroes… folks like Edgar J. Birdwhistle, [...]
Led By A Star
November 28, 2007 - 3:04 pm
As featured on the 2007 album, “tinsel,” by surplus population.
An update of a Psychedelic Alt-Rock Christmas tune that I originally wrote in 1994 as a title track for Young Diamond’s Christmas album of that year.
Out of the depths to You we cried,
“Do You know how we live and die?”
To see the answer You [...]
Nance Mustly vs. tinsel
November 19, 2007 - 8:48 pm
Tags: celebration, holidays, Mustly, nance, shecky, tinsel
3 Comments
Just in time for your holiday revelry…
The preposterously monstrous Christmas tree lounged in the corner, moored by guy wires to keep it from spilling joy all over the maple-planked floor. The band of renown (or of disrepute, depending on your view) was set up haphazardly among the lower branches. They were just getting [...]
TWINKIE™’S REVENGE – The Pickle From Hell
A freckle-faced kid, incongruous in the city scene, dressed in ratty overalls and a faded, torn plaid shirt, holds a hand-made tree branch slingshot in his hand. He looks up, realizing he’s extended a silver-platter invitation to the wrath of the demonic dill.
The Last Rose Died
September 4, 2007 - 1:31 pm
by Shecky Merman
It’s gone… withered away. It’s wrapped in its cocoon of new fashions at Back-To-School prices and freshly-minted textbooks. We used to bury it in old grocery bags, taping it to the books, so we could perform artistic resuscitation with Sharpies™ to disguise our 45-lb. Adventures in American History: The Insomniac’s Edition.
It’s [...]
Peace on Earth Tonight
June 15, 2007 - 9:32 pm
An original song from the new surplus population Holiday Music album, tinsel. It’s pro-troops, anti-war. Make up your own mind! It’s the best Christmas present you can give yourself.
Eddie joined the Guard when he got out of school
He worked at True Value, he’s nobody’s fool
Now it’s three hitches later, [...]
Yanstebangus: Originations 13 – 15
April 28, 2007 - 6:42 pm
Tags: shecky, yanstebangus
1 Comment
The first few Popumentaries shows went well. These first 4 shows focused on biographies of and performances by each of the stars. Each artist was a professional, and had been through television appearances before. Stefano, of course, was a natural TV studio denizen. He conferred with the director and the lighting [...]
Yanstebangus: Ongoings 10 – 12
April 21, 2007 - 6:10 pm
by John Gifford
10
Stefano dialed Jack Matsumoto.
“Hello?”
“Konnichiwa, Matsumoto-san!” said Stefano.
“Stefano! Hola! Que paso?” replied Jack.
“Hey, I wanted to let you know, The Network is really interested.” Stefano removed his gaucho hat and shifted the cell phone to his other ear. He fished the printout out of the paper tray on the [...]
Yanstebangus: Continuings 7 – 9
March 31, 2007 - 1:19 pm
7
Looking out the condensation-smeared hotel window, at the glistening asphalt, he sighed and slumped against the window frame. The sky was turning a deep, dark shade of electric blue and a few rapid flurries of snow were beginning to fall. They were small flakes, he noted, which meant that there could be [...]
Yanstebangus: Nextings 4- 6
February 24, 2007 - 10:39 am
4
“Can I get another ‘Amen?’” The spotlights made Brother Claghorn’s dazzling white teeth look almost cartoonlike, as if they were lit by an internal light source. Brother Claghorn would assure you that the phenomenon was the fire of the Holy Spirit. The Spirit would move him, as long as the coffers were in [...]
Yanstebangus: Beginnings
February 3, 2007 - 8:35 am
Tags: shecky, yanstebangus
4 Comments
Welcome, Synopsis fans:
With shifting points of view, this is a semi-autobiographical tale of the entertainment juggernaut known simply as Yanstebangus. Focused loosely on how they come together, and why, this cautionary tale is fraught with portent—starring Mack Truck Assembly-Line workers Eddie Fraught with George Portent. How could we give any more away? And [...]



