Gen Eric (supplement)
Dec 22nd
Gen Eric v.2.0.2 (optional install)
… Caleb effortlessly connected owner and car as he imagined the lot and continued to recover from the evening’s run.
The sage green minivan belonged to Belinda, the clerk in payroll. That one was easy to match up. The giveaway was the whimsical plastic soccer ball designed to look [...]
Gen Eric
Dec 21st
Gen Eric: Selected Short Stories of Self-Loathing v.2.0.1
Having finished another jog, Caleb collapsed into his car. The vehicle bounced as his substantial weight fell into the driver’s seat. Waiting for his breathing to return to normal – or, at least, until he stopped gasping for oxygen – Caleb let his mind sift through the various [...]
Class Act
Dec 18th
The room was more or less crowded — an ambiguous shifting seminar…like the post office. Professor Jonesborough was lecturing on the inverted pyramid as the backbone of newspaper.
“Your assignment…ahemmm, is to write an article that demonstrates this technique. And I want to be pulled in — knowing all the big facts in that first paragraph.”
Class [...]
Whitey McNice
Dec 17th
Whitey McNice sat behind the thick newsledge. She always arrived a few minutes before her co-anchors. The stylist stood behind her; he was winning over her blonde loose-ends and putting the finishing touches on her eye make-up. The bags were hard to conceal — too many genuine sleepless nights. News was wearing on her; you [...]
American Boardstand
Dec 15th
Dropjaw slid onto stage — his brakes locked up on ice. The glare off his shades blinded the front row. He was about to bring the house down.
It would come to be known as How Dropjaw Stole Christmas. His rendition of Jingle Bell Rock had the ladies fainting. His fingers danced nimbly on the keys [...]
Jolly Uncle Sam
Dec 12th
Samuel Chairstraddle hopped into his 1990 GMC Jimmy and cranked the engine.
“Please start; com’onnn…baby, START!”
{WRiii, WRiii, chik, chick, vwirrrrr, VROOM}
Sam crossed himself and looked up to where he supposed the heavens were; he blew a kiss. Resting his arm behind the passenger headrest, he backed quickly down his icy driveway — checking briefly for oncoming [...]
Circus Train Effect
Dec 9th
Two deaths minutes apart. Chaotic chatter erupted under the hot circus spotlights. Ringmaster doubled as a medic; he tended to Uza. Her head still lay on the hard packed straw while her limbs convulsed. He knew it was a lost cause the moment he saw the fall, but protocol was protocol. A troop of three-foot [...]
Circus Train Wreck
Dec 8th
Victor Slammenstein was upset. He had been a member of the Jungefrauzen Family Circus for over twenty years — marrying into the family when he was a youth of 16 years. The circus was his life — his wife never shaved her face weekdays or on Saturday. He’d given up a promising career as a [...]
Hobby Tits
Dec 6th
Tom looked up, raising his eyebrows, his reading glasses balanced on the end of his long, but round pointed nose. His pencil fell to the floor. “Well, I-I uh, uh, I think they just sell toys overthere.” Despite the studder he rambled confidently and seemed satisfied as he ended his words with a [...]
Heft
Dec 6th
I have stood in the same spot of this store every day for 16 years. I love watching people, their shopping habits, the way they interact, and what they buy. I now look forward to seeing some of the regulars. Even though I don’t know most of their names, I feel [...]
Thanksgiving
Dec 5th
That was the year – my twenty-fifth – in which I realize ambition’s connection to success – at least in terms of greater society’s definition of both – was overrated and overstated. Everything is relative; that’s really true. And know what else? Expectations. It’s all about expectations. And I’m expected to take three pills [...]
Self Help
Dec 4th
Andy and I met at a self-help seminar. He was a fellow beat-nik, (the mo-hawk was a dead give-away) who was there to research a hot lead for inspirational characters for his up coming novel. I opened conversation with a question:
“What shoe size do you wear?”
“Um, I don’t know what kind of impression you may [...]
Grease
Dec 4th
Bobatruscent was new…but, not really. Actually, every conversation gravitated back to some other place he’d lived.
“When I lived in Rhode Island, I knew this kid named Skinks. We’d come out the house and see ol Skinky outside poking his head through the fence and we’d chase him down the block. Always caught ‘im. We’d pistol [...]
Cover Charge
Dec 2nd
A Chapter
Sharise accelerated to 80 as she spoke loudly into her cell phone. “I’ll meet you at Club Paradise; it’s much better,” she said. “I’m not hungry. I just ate. We are going to have a fabulous time,” she said with emphasis. “Ok, ok.”
She hung up the phone and honked at the driver in front [...]
Steakhouse
Dec 1st
A skinny kid in a green apron.
“What’s your social security, hun?”
“…My what? I’m sorry…”
Fran’s frizzy bleach blonde hair smelled like cigarettes. Heavy mascara added to the weight of her bagged eyes. Her gnarled coffee teeth jutted out slightly forming a wicked grin.
“Your social security card? There’s a number on it? You’ll need that to [...]
Memory Lane
Dec 1st
A Chapter
Charlotte sat in the front of the bus. She looked around, assessing her surroundings. She hated the bus and hated herself more for losing her license. Its funny how it all worked out. I knew he’d been letting that bitch drive my car, she thought.
Her anger shifted back to herself. I can’t believe I [...]
